Joke of the day

Post by **Mud Dog** » Wed Mar 05, 2014 1:40 pm

Hehe!

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Wed Mar 05, 2014 2:58 pm

Last fall, a group of bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge…So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,

“Hey Baby….. whatcha doin’ up there on that railin’?”

She says tearfully, “I’m going to commit suicide!!”

While he didn’t want to appear ‘sensitive’, George also didn’t want to miss this ‘be-a-legend’ opportunity either so he asked…

“Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe… Why don’t you give ole George here your best last kiss?”

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that… And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,

“Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That’s a real talent you’re wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?”

“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.”

It’s still unclear whether the person jumped or was pushed!

Samurai · Post by **Samurai** » Wed Mar 05, 2014 6:15 pm

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Wed Mar 05, 2014 7:14 pm

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Wed Mar 05, 2014 7:39 pm

Post by **Baasvark** » Wed Mar 05, 2014 8:25 pm

RiyadhFortuner · Post by **RiyadhFortuner** » Wed Mar 05, 2014 8:46 pm

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Wed Mar 05, 2014 8:55 pm

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Thu Mar 06, 2014 8:17 am

Drink & drive.jpg: (42.57 KiB) Downloaded 212 times

Post by **Mud Dog** » Thu Mar 06, 2014 8:30 am

.... Looks like he (or she) had a watery kotch as well.

Potifar · Post by **Potifar** » Thu Mar 06, 2014 9:06 am

Sorry for the Afrikaans, I really don't know how this one will sound in English...

Die ou omie lê in die hospitaal, op pad teater toe. ñ Jong blonde verpleegsterkom ingetrippel met sy verslag in die een hand en ñ bakkie met skeergoed in die ander hand."Goeiedag oom! Af met die broekie vir my!" "Nou vir wat, Nursie, wat wil jy nou maak?" "Ek wil jou skeer, Oupa, want ons gaan jou mos vandag besny!" antwoord sy. "Nee, man, ek is hier vir ñ oog operasie!" gil die ou omie verskrik. Nou verloor sy haar humeur: "Kyk, Oupa, ek het nie tyd vir nonsies nie, hierstaan dit in jou verslag: VERWYDERING VAN DIE HORINGVLIES!"

KOBUSL · Post by **KOBUSL** » Thu Mar 06, 2014 5:45 pm

: IERSE JOGA.jpg (26.64 KiB) Viewed 9095 times

Samurai · Post by **Samurai** » Thu Mar 06, 2014 6:00 pm

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Thu Mar 06, 2014 7:18 pm

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Thu Mar 06, 2014 7:22 pm

Masekind · Post by **Masekind** » Thu Mar 06, 2014 8:04 pm

D

Sent from my SGP321 using Tapatalk 4

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Thu Mar 06, 2014 8:32 pm

Mossienel · Post by **Mossienel** » Thu Mar 06, 2014 8:44 pm

:lol::lol::lol:

Louis Ipad

Post by **Mud Dog** » Thu Mar 06, 2014 9:47 pm

Newsflash:

A fire earlier today destroyed the newly completed personal library of
President Zuma at Nkandla – tragically both of his books were lost in the blaze !

Presidential spokesman Jackson Mthembu said the President was absolutely
devastated as he had not yet finished colouring in the second one !

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Thu Mar 06, 2014 11:44 pm

I thought the cabinet finished the first one

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 2:22 am

Thunder02 · Post by **Thunder02** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 6:54 am

This thread is great reading material for a Friday morning

GI Jane · Post by **GI Jane** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 7:19 am

Samurai · Post by **Samurai** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 7:23 am

Wat kry jy as jy 'n duisendpoot viagra gee?

Een bef#@$e skropborsel!

Samurai · Post by **Samurai** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 7:27 am

Samurai · Post by **Samurai** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 7:39 am

Obelix and Dogmatix · Post by **Obelix and Dogmatix** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 8:27 am

Mud Dog wrote:Newsflash:

A fire earlier today destroyed the newly completed personal library of
President Zuma at Nkandla – tragically both of his books were lost in the blaze !

Presidential spokesman Jackson Mthembu said the President was absolutely
devastated as he had not yet finished colouring in the second one !

But what about his fire pool and bucket brigade!!!!

Samurai · Post by **Samurai** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 8:29 am

WQN wrote:But what about his fire pool and bucket brigade!!!!

Samurai · Post by **Samurai** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 8:51 am

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 9:00 am

Ahhh... now I also know

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 11:24 am

Samurai · Post by **Samurai** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 11:42 am

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 11:57 am

Ek het klaar vleis laat uithaal, jy weet, net vir ingeval

Samurai · Post by **Samurai** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 12:26 pm

Obelix and Dogmatix · Fri Mar 07, 2014 12:33 pm

4x4BEES wrote:Ek het klaar vleis laat uithaal, jy weet, net vir ingeval

hoekom met die krag wat af gaan sal jou vleis mos van self ontdooi!!!

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 3:38 pm

Dis n ou een, maar ek like hom weer

: Eat you last.jpg (39.57 KiB) Viewed 9202 times

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 3:49 pm

: Suicide vest.jpg (25.42 KiB) Viewed 9195 times

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 4:08 pm

Samurai · Post by **Samurai** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 4:18 pm

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Fri Mar 07, 2014 10:18 pm

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Sat Mar 08, 2014 7:58 am

Bushwacker · Post by **Bushwacker** » Sat Mar 08, 2014 8:39 am

A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the pavement in front of her home. Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing FREE KITTENS.

Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead car stepped a bald, grinning man.

"Hello little girl, I'm President Zuma. What do you have in the basket?" he asked.

"Kittens," little Suzy said.

"How old are they?" asked Zuma.

Suzy replied, "They're so young, their eyes aren't even open yet."

"And what kind of kittens are they?"

"ANC," answered Suzy with a smile.

Zuma was delighted. As soon as he returned to his car, he called his PR department and told them about the little girl and the kittens.

Recognizing the perfect publicity opportunity, they agreed that the president should return the next day; and in front of the assembled media, have the girl talk about her discerning kittens.

So the next day, Suzy was again standing on the pavement with her basket of "FREE KITTENS," when the motorcade pulled up, this time followed by all the media.

Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up, then Zuma got out of his car and walked over to little Suzy.

"Hello, again," he said, "I'd love it if you would tell all my friends out there what kind of kittens you're giving away."

"Yes sir," Suzy said. "They're D A."

Taken by surprise, the president stammered, "But... but... yesterday, you told me they were ANC."

Little Suzy smiled and said, "I know. But today, they have their eyes open."

Post by **Mud Dog** » Sat Mar 08, 2014 9:08 am

Samurai · Post by **Samurai** » Sat Mar 08, 2014 10:56 am

Samurai · Post by **Samurai** » Sat Mar 08, 2014 11:31 am

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Sat Mar 08, 2014 2:24 pm

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Sat Mar 08, 2014 3:20 pm

Oupa Stig · Post by **Oupa Stig** » Sat Mar 08, 2014 8:11 pm

Kyk mooi:

Thunder02 · Post by **Thunder02** » Sat Mar 08, 2014 9:33 pm

Well done

Plays with the mind

Samurai · Post by **Samurai** » Sun Mar 09, 2014 6:34 am

40 Worst Book Covers and Titles Ever

http://www.boredpanda.com/funny-book-titles-covers/

Froll · Post by **Froll** » Sun Mar 09, 2014 10:46 am

Thunder02 · Post by **Thunder02** » Sun Mar 09, 2014 7:24 pm

You nearly getting as bad as Cassie

Time to go

Hoppy · Post by **Hoppy** » Sun Mar 09, 2014 7:41 pm

578496_10151148394348114_766815519_n.jpg: (44.17 KiB) Downloaded 169 times

Samurai · Post by **Samurai** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 6:08 am

Samurai · Post by **Samurai** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 7:37 am

Practice what you preach...

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 9:30 am

Thunder02 · Post by **Thunder02** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 9:47 am

Stem saam

Samurai · Post by **Samurai** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 9:48 am

What is payday?

The day when:

Everybody wakes up with a song,
Everybody goes to work in their cars,
Fills up their tanks like it’s an everyday thing (but R400, not completely full)
Everybody sings along to music in their cars,
Nobody packs lunch,
Breakfast changes from Weet-Bix to Wimpy,
Items are bought oblivious of debt pending,
Nando's and Debonairs for supper,
Mense phone somma instead of messaging,
Avon is paid for and the new order is immediately placed in,
The geyser is somma left On all day,
The dogs and cats even eat luxuries,
The car guard finally gets a tip,
The guy by the robot also gets a Mandela note,
Pacific becomes Stuyvesant,
Hare word soma gedoen by die salon!
Husbands are now re-nicknamed from "jou rubbish" to "my luvy".
Kids are called "mummy se engels" instead of "ondankbare gatte"...
Sugar been borrowed gets replaced with a Full kg and a smile.

And all this happens on one day a month ….. PAY DAY!

Post by **CasKru** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 10:43 am

4x4BEES · Post by **4x4BEES** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 11:16 am