Old Folk

[Mud Dog]

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement centre were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'

Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'

'Really? Like a newborn baby!?'

'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

[hentey]

Yes Andy,that is you and me 30 years from now.
BTW that is around the corner.

[Mud Dog]

Hentey, dunno about you, but I'm wondering if I will even make the next 30

[Mud Dog]

Hentey, here's something to consider if we make it that far ....


An elderly gentlemen had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to fit a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'

The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

[Mud Dog]

No? ... OK then, how about this .....

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair . . .. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'

'Sure.'

'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.

'No, I can remember it.'

'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so you don't forget it?'

He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'

'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.

Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,

The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.

'Where's my toast ?'

[Mud Dog]

:wth: still not! .... Geez come on Hentey! .... Ok then, this one?

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'

..... or maybe this one?

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go for a beer.'

[Mud Dog]

Heeeeennnteeee ... are you MIA? You been gone so long we'll be expecting a trip report when you return, Buck! (Maybe you're battling with the 'walker', hey?) OK miskien sal hierdie vir jou uitlok ...


Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.

A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'

Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''

The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart mur mur; be careful.''

[hentey]

Sorry Andy,had some business to attend to.I asked my broker the other day when he thinks I will be able to retire,and he said "WITH EASE AT 107" So now you now why i MUST work untill i reach the age of 106,hope i don't die before that. I still want to see the FF+ win the election.

[BenHur]

Geez Andy how old are you. You go on as if you are a real ou toppie. Hentey I can see is still young enough to call Eric "oom" . You guys must not go on as if you are 90

[Family_Dog]

Leave them Bennie, they are both 'ou toppies'...

I still have a few years to go before I hit that category!


-F_D

[hentey]

We old topies don't sleep on other people's furniture.We sit up straight and handle our drink & food,not like certain youngsters who can't stay awake after Sunday lunches.Kyk hoe vertel ek hom nou Andy !!!!!

[BenHur]

Hentey

As jy dom is moet jy suffer boet, niks so lekker soos 'n Sondag middag slapie na ete nie

[Mud Dog]

We old topies don't sleep on other people's furniture.We sit up straight and handle our drink & food,not like certain youngsters who can't stay awake after Sunday lunches.Kyk hoe vertel ek hom nou Andy !!!!!

Well said hentey, but I actually enjoyed that pic ... even commented on the nature of Ben & Cas' friendship, .... it's cool. Slaap lekker Ben ...

I still have a few years to go before I hit that category

I wonder...

I still have a few years to go before I hit that category

Let's just say that the memory of WW2 was still relatively fresh in people's minds when I was born. (I'm still young at heart :)

[hentey]

Hentey

As jy dom is moet jy suffer boet, niks so lekker soos 'n Sondag middag slapie na ete nie

Ja Benjamin,dis heerlik om na Sondag middag-ete n biki te gaat le,maar Cassie moes toe staan en TV kyk.

[Mud Dog]

Shame Bennie! ... How inconsiderate! (Or was it perhaps Cassie that dissapeared and dozed off first, leaving Ben alone to 'drop off' in front of the TV. Possibilities abound. )

It may even be the 'old age syndrome' creeping up on them unawares

A man was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand pounds, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'

'Really,' answered the neighbour, 'What kind is it?'

'Twelve thirty.'

[2.8 d/cab SFA]

[Irishman]

I might be repeating my self here. I can't remember :roll:
Old married couple in their nineties. The husband dies, and the wife decides she can't live without him, so she decides to commit suicide, by shooting herself through the heart. To make sure she didn't suffer she rang her doctor to check exactly where her heart was. The doctor told her in a female it is just below her left breast. Later that day she was carted into hospital with a gunshot in her knee. :?
Anyway age is just a number, some people are old at 60, others like me go on forever. My grandfather was knocked down by a bus when he was out doing his daily five mile walk. He was 96. He stopped to light his pipe which proves smoking can kill you.
Ron.

[Mud Dog]

I might be repeating my self here. I can't remember

I can

[Mud Dog]

:wth:

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[CasKru]

Shame Bennie! ... How inconsiderate! (Or was it perhaps Cassie that dissapeared and dozed off first, leaving Ben alone to 'drop off' in front of the TV. Possibilities abound. )

It may even be the 'old age syndrome' creeping up on them unawares

A man was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand pounds, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'

'Really,' answered the neighbour, 'What kind is it?'

'Twelve thirty.'

"twelve thiry'

Nope... Bennie was the only one dozing off. I don't do sleeping during the day because when I wake up from that nap, I am just plain "omgekrap"! I feel like I am angry at the world and you have to walk circles around me

[Mud Dog]

when I wake up from that nap, I am just plain "omgekrap"!

Whatever problems I have, I've never had that one .... always been a Jolly Roger ... errrr ..... Jolly Riser ... (Bretton / Rich, ... don't! .... just let it be )

[CasKru]

when I wake up from that nap, I am just plain "omgekrap"!

Whatever problems I have, I've never had that one .... always been a Jolly Roger ... errrr ..... Jolly Riser ... (Bretton / Rich, ... don't! .... just let it be )

That is the weird thing. I can stay up late and wake up early in the mornings and I am happy with the world. But if I take a nap during the day and wake up before the sun has set... stand back

[Mud Dog]

That is strange, hey ..... thanks for the 'heads up' ... (Bennie, are you making a mental note not to let Cas doze off while you're asleep on his couch! ).

[Mud Dog]

Hmmm ....

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[Mud Dog]

[Mud Dog]

Old folk bumper stickers.

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[Mud Dog]

More old folk bumper stickers.

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[Mud Dog]

And more old folk bumper stickers.

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[0000DS]

If you are a senior you will understand this one, if you deal with seniors this should help you understand them a little better, and if you are not a senior yet........God willing, someday you will be......

The $2.99 Special

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.

'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.'

'Then, I'll have to charge you three dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.

'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked incredulously.

'YES!!' stated the waitress.

'I'll take the special then,' my wife said..

'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.

'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied. She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.

DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!!!
WE'VE been around the block more than once!

[Mud Dog]

Fo Sho!

..... and even more old folk stickers ...

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[OOOOMS]

Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh.....it is all true...


Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15 . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19.You can't remember who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Forward this to everyone you can remember right now!
And Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

[Mud Dog]

And Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Also; Never pass a toilet without making use of the opportunity, never trust a fart and never try to disguise a fart by coughing at the same time!!!

[Mud Dog]

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