Joke of the day
Forum rules
Please keep it light hearted enol. No serious stufs hey! :)
We are trying to make the technical information more visible in the Active Topics section. So we are trying to combine all the humour posts into a single thread. This will then more or less always stay on the active topics page if you keep appending your jokes onto this single thread. Your assistance will be greatly appreciated
Please keep it light hearted enol. No serious stufs hey! :)
We are trying to make the technical information more visible in the Active Topics section. So we are trying to combine all the humour posts into a single thread. This will then more or less always stay on the active topics page if you keep appending your jokes onto this single thread. Your assistance will be greatly appreciated
- Obelix and Dogmatix
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1837
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- Real Name: Quentin
- Location: Allens Nek
Re: Joke of the day
SORRY MODS JUST HAD TO POST IT
Three rugby fans - a Springbok fan, a New Zealand fan and an Australian fan were all walking home after watching a game at the pub.
They come across a dead, naked woman lying on the pavement, and decide to phone the police.
The Springbok fan could not bear to see the woman lying on the floor in such an undignified manner, took off his Springbok cap and placed it over the woman's left breast. Not to be outdone the New Zealand fan removed his cap and placed it over the woman's right breast. Similarly, the Australian fan felt he could be of assistance and removed his cap and placed it over her groin.
When the police arrived, the three fans had to stick around for questioning by the police. They watched the officer inspect the scene of the crime. The officer picked up the cap from the left breast, had a peek, put the cap down and then wrote down some notes. He then picked up the cap from the right breast, had a peek, put the cap down and wrote down some notes.
Next, of course, was the cap over the groin area. The officer picked up the cap, put it down and then wrote some notes. He picked up the cap again, put it down and wrote some further notes. For the third time, the officer did the same thing which infuriated the hell out of the Australian fan to the point where he went up to the officer.
"What are you? Some kind of pervert? Why do you keep looking there?" asked the obviously annoyed Aussie fan.
The officer replied "It's just weird - normally, you'd expect to see a pr**k under an Australian cap!"
Three rugby fans - a Springbok fan, a New Zealand fan and an Australian fan were all walking home after watching a game at the pub.
They come across a dead, naked woman lying on the pavement, and decide to phone the police.
The Springbok fan could not bear to see the woman lying on the floor in such an undignified manner, took off his Springbok cap and placed it over the woman's left breast. Not to be outdone the New Zealand fan removed his cap and placed it over the woman's right breast. Similarly, the Australian fan felt he could be of assistance and removed his cap and placed it over her groin.
When the police arrived, the three fans had to stick around for questioning by the police. They watched the officer inspect the scene of the crime. The officer picked up the cap from the left breast, had a peek, put the cap down and then wrote down some notes. He then picked up the cap from the right breast, had a peek, put the cap down and wrote down some notes.
Next, of course, was the cap over the groin area. The officer picked up the cap, put it down and then wrote some notes. He picked up the cap again, put it down and wrote some further notes. For the third time, the officer did the same thing which infuriated the hell out of the Australian fan to the point where he went up to the officer.
"What are you? Some kind of pervert? Why do you keep looking there?" asked the obviously annoyed Aussie fan.
The officer replied "It's just weird - normally, you'd expect to see a pr**k under an Australian cap!"
Rules are there to make you think before you break them!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
Jy's stout, jy!Secret Aussie fan wrote:SORRY MODS JUST HAD TO POST IT
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Thunder02
- Moderator
- Posts: 8033
- Joined: Fri Nov 26, 2010 7:53 pm
- Town: East Rand
- Vehicle: IFS Hilux
- Real Name: Neil
- Club VHF Licence: HC105
- Location: 4x4 Direct Boksburg
- Contact:
Re: Joke of the day
Glad i got to read it before one of the Mods remove it.
Not all those who wander are lost!
Scout motto:be prepared....
www.4x4direct.co.za
Email: boksburg@4x4direct.co.za
IFS is like a swambo, soft, sexy and expensive!
Scout motto:be prepared....
www.4x4direct.co.za
Email: boksburg@4x4direct.co.za
IFS is like a swambo, soft, sexy and expensive!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
A woman and her twelve-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings.
"Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied.
The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the Truth? They're hookers, boy!
They have sex with men for money."
The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true Mom?"
His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers in the affirmative.
After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have babies, what happens to them?"
"Most of them become taxi drivers," she said.
"Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied.
The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the Truth? They're hookers, boy!
They have sex with men for money."
The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true Mom?"
His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers in the affirmative.
After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have babies, what happens to them?"
"Most of them become taxi drivers," she said.
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Froll
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 3305
- Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:13 pm
- Town: Vioolsdrift
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- Real Name: Roger
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Re: Joke of the day
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- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired.
At her next checkup, the new Doctor told her To bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for Her.
As The young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide As he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control Pills..
"Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL Pills?
"Yes, they help me sleep at night."
"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in These that that could possibly help you sleep!"
She reached out and Patted the young Doctor's knee...."Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old Granddaughter drinks .... .And believe me, it definitely helps me sleep at night."
At her next checkup, the new Doctor told her To bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for Her.
As The young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide As he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control Pills..
"Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL Pills?
"Yes, they help me sleep at night."
"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in These that that could possibly help you sleep!"
She reached out and Patted the young Doctor's knee...."Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old Granddaughter drinks .... .And believe me, it definitely helps me sleep at night."
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Obelix and Dogmatix
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1837
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:27 pm
- Town: ROODEPOORT
- Vehicle: HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix, donated to some clown, HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix II Onca front and rear Amade extreme Suspension and under water breathing apparatus
- Real Name: Quentin
- Location: Allens Nek
Re: Joke of the day
A golfer hits his ball into a yard next to the golf course.
As he goes to get it a man in the yard says, "Don't you see
The sign? It says, 'Private property - Stay Out!'"
The golfer says, "I'm sorry I did not see it. That's my ball over
There. May I have it, please?"
The man says, "It's in my yard and so it's my ball now."
The golfer looks at the man and says, "I think I understand"
He then walks back to the golf cart, gets another golf ball,
Then walks back and throws it into the yard as well.
The man says, "What did you do that for?"
The golfer replies...
"I consider myself a Gentleman, and I
Believe every pr**k should have two balls."
Sorry again mods
As he goes to get it a man in the yard says, "Don't you see
The sign? It says, 'Private property - Stay Out!'"
The golfer says, "I'm sorry I did not see it. That's my ball over
There. May I have it, please?"
The man says, "It's in my yard and so it's my ball now."
The golfer looks at the man and says, "I think I understand"
He then walks back to the golf cart, gets another golf ball,
Then walks back and throws it into the yard as well.
The man says, "What did you do that for?"
The golfer replies...
"I consider myself a Gentleman, and I
Believe every pr**k should have two balls."
Sorry again mods
Rules are there to make you think before you break them!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
- Obelix and Dogmatix
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1837
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:27 pm
- Town: ROODEPOORT
- Vehicle: HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix, donated to some clown, HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix II Onca front and rear Amade extreme Suspension and under water breathing apparatus
- Real Name: Quentin
- Location: Allens Nek
Re: Joke of the day
Rules are there to make you think before you break them!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
- Obelix and Dogmatix
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1837
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:27 pm
- Town: ROODEPOORT
- Vehicle: HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix, donated to some clown, HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix II Onca front and rear Amade extreme Suspension and under water breathing apparatus
- Real Name: Quentin
- Location: Allens Nek
Re: Joke of the day
Rules are there to make you think before you break them!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Thunder02
- Moderator
- Posts: 8033
- Joined: Fri Nov 26, 2010 7:53 pm
- Town: East Rand
- Vehicle: IFS Hilux
- Real Name: Neil
- Club VHF Licence: HC105
- Location: 4x4 Direct Boksburg
- Contact:
Re: Joke of the day
Not all those who wander are lost!
Scout motto:be prepared....
www.4x4direct.co.za
Email: boksburg@4x4direct.co.za
IFS is like a swambo, soft, sexy and expensive!
Scout motto:be prepared....
www.4x4direct.co.za
Email: boksburg@4x4direct.co.za
IFS is like a swambo, soft, sexy and expensive!
- Obelix and Dogmatix
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1837
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:27 pm
- Town: ROODEPOORT
- Vehicle: HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix, donated to some clown, HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix II Onca front and rear Amade extreme Suspension and under water breathing apparatus
- Real Name: Quentin
- Location: Allens Nek
Re: Joke of the day
DON"T LET THYS SEE ITThunder02 wrote:
Rules are there to make you think before you break them!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
- ChrisF
- Top Web Wheeler
- Posts: 8188
- Joined: Thu Sep 17, 2009 2:56 pm
- Town: inniedorp
- Vehicle: Toy
- Real Name: Chris
Re: Joke of the day
Thys has a VERY special recovery rope - hy pushes Toyotas out ...Obelix and Dogmatix wrote:DON"T LET THYS SEE ITThunder02 wrote:
- Thunder02
- Moderator
- Posts: 8033
- Joined: Fri Nov 26, 2010 7:53 pm
- Town: East Rand
- Vehicle: IFS Hilux
- Real Name: Neil
- Club VHF Licence: HC105
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- Contact:
Re: Joke of the day
Rigid ropeChrisF wrote:Thys has a VERY special recovery rope - hy pushes Toyotas out ...Obelix and Dogmatix wrote:DON"T LET THYS SEE ITThunder02 wrote:
Not all those who wander are lost!
Scout motto:be prepared....
www.4x4direct.co.za
Email: boksburg@4x4direct.co.za
IFS is like a swambo, soft, sexy and expensive!
Scout motto:be prepared....
www.4x4direct.co.za
Email: boksburg@4x4direct.co.za
IFS is like a swambo, soft, sexy and expensive!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
Do you remember the 80's when the Nationalist Government spent HUGE amounts of public money to protect our Power Stations against ANC sabotage?
Well ..................
IT DIDN'T WORK!
Well ..................
IT DIDN'T WORK!
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- dalkill
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1576
- Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 8:34 am
- Town: Cape TOwn
- Vehicle: 2.4 GD6 SR D/C 4x4
- Real Name: Shaakir
Re: Joke of the day
2016 2.4GD6 SR D/C 4x4 (Oct 2022 - current) (Buraaq VI)
2007 d4d 3.0 D/C 4x4 (Mar 2016 - July 2022) (Buraaq V)
2003 Isuzu KB300 D/C 4x4 (May 2015 - Feb 2016) aka Buraaq IV
2000 hilux DC 2.7 4x4 (Jul 2011 - Sep 2012) aka Buraaq III
1999 RXI 20v (Nov 2009 - Jul 2011) aka Quicksilver
1990 hilux DC 2.2 4x4 (Jun 2008 - Jul 2011) aka Buraaq II
1997 corolla 160i GLE (Feb 2007 - Sep 2009) aka Green Goblin
1990 GLI twincam (still my fav rolla) (Oct 2005 - Mar 2007) aka Wit Blitz
Golf GTI 2.0 (temp insanity for 2months) (Jun 2005 - Aug 2005) aka A mistake
1993 hilux SC 2.2 4x4 (April 2003 - Sept 2005) aka Buraaq
TOYOTA IS MY LEWE
2007 d4d 3.0 D/C 4x4 (Mar 2016 - July 2022) (Buraaq V)
2003 Isuzu KB300 D/C 4x4 (May 2015 - Feb 2016) aka Buraaq IV
2000 hilux DC 2.7 4x4 (Jul 2011 - Sep 2012) aka Buraaq III
1999 RXI 20v (Nov 2009 - Jul 2011) aka Quicksilver
1990 hilux DC 2.2 4x4 (Jun 2008 - Jul 2011) aka Buraaq II
1997 corolla 160i GLE (Feb 2007 - Sep 2009) aka Green Goblin
1990 GLI twincam (still my fav rolla) (Oct 2005 - Mar 2007) aka Wit Blitz
Golf GTI 2.0 (temp insanity for 2months) (Jun 2005 - Aug 2005) aka A mistake
1993 hilux SC 2.2 4x4 (April 2003 - Sept 2005) aka Buraaq
TOYOTA IS MY LEWE
- ChrisF
- Top Web Wheeler
- Posts: 8188
- Joined: Thu Sep 17, 2009 2:56 pm
- Town: inniedorp
- Vehicle: Toy
- Real Name: Chris
Re: Joke of the day
Mud Dog wrote:Do you remember the 80's when the Nationalist Government spent HUGE amounts of public money to protect our Power Stations against ANC sabotage?
Well ..................
IT DIDN'T WORK!
uhm ja ....
that same "regime" built a 70 000 person strong post and telecommunications infrastructure that WORKED, and ran at a PROFIT.
They went as far as building the Bellville building with a "rocket proof" rating - 1m thick concrete walls, with a 1,5m cavity before yet another 1m wide concrete wall .... to protect it against the "freedom fighters" .....
What have we now -
Post Office - bankrupt and totally useless.
Telkom - in 2 months it will have less than 10 000 staff, and it is losing market share at an alarming rate ....
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
They probably run an iron & steel business ..... they do the ironing and the wives do the stealing!
Gonna go and hide ....
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- werewolf
- LR 4WD Full Lockers
- Posts: 583
- Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 10:12 pm
- Town: Pretoria
- Vehicle: Toyota Hilux 1991, 50mm lift suspension, Rear E-Locker
- Real Name: Johan
- Location: Doornpoort
Re: Joke of the day
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"
After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"
-
- LR 4WD Full Lockers
- Posts: 707
- Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2011 11:27 am
- Town: Pretoria
- Vehicle: 2.8GD6 Double CabHilux 4X4
- Real Name: Rian
- Location: Wonderboom Suid
Re: Joke of the day
My dogetr 15j het sulke droe grappe maar geniet haar!
Hoe weet jy wanneer geld gewas is?
Die geld ruik na STAYSoft!
PS mag dalk uit ander bronne kom?
Hoe weet jy wanneer geld gewas is?
Die geld ruik na STAYSoft!
PS mag dalk uit ander bronne kom?
- Obelix and Dogmatix
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1837
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:27 pm
- Town: ROODEPOORT
- Vehicle: HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix, donated to some clown, HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix II Onca front and rear Amade extreme Suspension and under water breathing apparatus
- Real Name: Quentin
- Location: Allens Nek
Re: Joke of the day
Rules are there to make you think before you break them!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
- Thunder02
- Moderator
- Posts: 8033
- Joined: Fri Nov 26, 2010 7:53 pm
- Town: East Rand
- Vehicle: IFS Hilux
- Real Name: Neil
- Club VHF Licence: HC105
- Location: 4x4 Direct Boksburg
- Contact:
Re: Joke of the day
At least Ford did one thing right, they drew a circle around the problemObelix and Dogmatix wrote:
Not all those who wander are lost!
Scout motto:be prepared....
www.4x4direct.co.za
Email: boksburg@4x4direct.co.za
IFS is like a swambo, soft, sexy and expensive!
Scout motto:be prepared....
www.4x4direct.co.za
Email: boksburg@4x4direct.co.za
IFS is like a swambo, soft, sexy and expensive!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
Some 'blonde' quotes .....
“Couldn’t call 911… duh ! … there’s no “eleven” button on the phone.”
"Baked turkey for 4 ½ days … instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108 !!!"
“Hate M & M ‘s ….. They are so hard to peel.”
“The capital of California is “C”…. Isn’t it?"
“Got locked out of her car in rain storm …. Car swamped, because top was down.”
“Lost breast stroke swimming competition … learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms !!!”
“Tried to go water skiing …. couldn’t find a lake with a slope!"
“Tried to make Kool-Aid …8 cups of water won’t fit in those little packets!”
“Trapped on escalator for hours …. Power went out.”
“Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels …”duh”… bottles won’t fit in typewriter!”
"Got excited ….. Finished jigsaw puzzle in six month …. Box said “2-4 years”
“Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.”
:roll:
“Couldn’t call 911… duh ! … there’s no “eleven” button on the phone.”
"Baked turkey for 4 ½ days … instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108 !!!"
“Hate M & M ‘s ….. They are so hard to peel.”
“The capital of California is “C”…. Isn’t it?"
“Got locked out of her car in rain storm …. Car swamped, because top was down.”
“Lost breast stroke swimming competition … learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms !!!”
“Tried to go water skiing …. couldn’t find a lake with a slope!"
“Tried to make Kool-Aid …8 cups of water won’t fit in those little packets!”
“Trapped on escalator for hours …. Power went out.”
“Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels …”duh”… bottles won’t fit in typewriter!”
"Got excited ….. Finished jigsaw puzzle in six month …. Box said “2-4 years”
“Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.”
:roll:
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied...
"Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"..I just lost it.
"CASE DISMISSED!!"
The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied...
"Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"..I just lost it.
"CASE DISMISSED!!"
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Toppie4x4
- LR 4WD Full Lockers
- Posts: 836
- Joined: Sat Apr 06, 2013 3:38 pm
- Town: Centurion
- Vehicle: Hilux 4.0 V6 DC 4x4
- Real Name: Andre
Re: Joke of the day
puik
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
-
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1156
- Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2010 5:57 pm
- Town: Heidelberg
- Vehicle: Hilux 2.5 D4D
- Real Name: Koos
- Location: Heidelberg
Re: Joke of the day
There was once an Irish actor who did Shakespearean plays, but he had aged and could no longer remember his lines! After many years, he finds himself in the GlobeTheatre in London , where they were prepared to give him a chance to shine again.
The director says "This is a most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage carrying a rose. You hold the rose to your nose with just one finger and thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress."
The Irish actor is thrilled. All day long before the play he was practicing his line over and over again. Finally, the time came. The curtain went up, the actor walked onto the stage, and using just one finger, as directed, he delivered the line, "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress."
The theatre erupted, the audience was screaming with laughter and the director was steaming! "You bloody fool!" he cried "You have ruined me!"
The Irish actor was bewildered "What happened, did I forget my line?"
"No!" screamed the director. "You forgot the bloody rose!"
I was in my back yard trying to launch a kite. I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth. I tried this a few more times with no success.
All the while, my wife Anne is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yelled to me, "You need a piece of tail".
I turned with a confused look on my face and said, "Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite. "
A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, “All that bull does is eat grass. Won’t even look at a cow.”
“Take him to the vet,” his friend suggested.
The next week, John is much happier. “The vet gave him some pills, and the bull serviced all of my cows!” he told his pal. “Then he broke through the fence and bred with all my neighbour’s cows! He’s like a machine!”
“What kind of pills were they?” asked the friend.
“I don’t know, but they’ve got a peppermint taste.”
The director says "This is a most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage carrying a rose. You hold the rose to your nose with just one finger and thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress."
The Irish actor is thrilled. All day long before the play he was practicing his line over and over again. Finally, the time came. The curtain went up, the actor walked onto the stage, and using just one finger, as directed, he delivered the line, "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress."
The theatre erupted, the audience was screaming with laughter and the director was steaming! "You bloody fool!" he cried "You have ruined me!"
The Irish actor was bewildered "What happened, did I forget my line?"
"No!" screamed the director. "You forgot the bloody rose!"
I was in my back yard trying to launch a kite. I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth. I tried this a few more times with no success.
All the while, my wife Anne is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yelled to me, "You need a piece of tail".
I turned with a confused look on my face and said, "Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite. "
A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, “All that bull does is eat grass. Won’t even look at a cow.”
“Take him to the vet,” his friend suggested.
The next week, John is much happier. “The vet gave him some pills, and the bull serviced all of my cows!” he told his pal. “Then he broke through the fence and bred with all my neighbour’s cows! He’s like a machine!”
“What kind of pills were they?” asked the friend.
“I don’t know, but they’ve got a peppermint taste.”
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
"You forgot the bloody rose!"
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
A little South African humour but seems a universal feeling about politicians!
A large plane crashed on a farm way out west in rural Northern Cape. The local police inspector mobilized assistance and they eventually arrived at the farm.
By that time, the aircraft was totally destroyed, with only a burned out fuselage left smouldering in a tree line bordering the farm.
The inspector and his men entered the smoking scene, but could not find the remains of anyone.
Then they spotted a farmer ploughing a field not far away, as if nothing had happened.
They hurried over to the man's tractor.
"Sir," the inspector yelled, out of breath. "Did you see this terrible plane crash happen?"
"Yep, sure did." The farmer mumbled as he cut the tractor's engine.
"Do you realize that it was the Presidents 737?"
"Yep."
"Were there any survivors?"
"Nope. They all got killed straight out," the farmer answered. "Buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning."
"Zuma is dead?" The inspector asked.
"Well." the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor.
"He kept saying he wasn't. But you know what a lying bastard he is!”
A large plane crashed on a farm way out west in rural Northern Cape. The local police inspector mobilized assistance and they eventually arrived at the farm.
By that time, the aircraft was totally destroyed, with only a burned out fuselage left smouldering in a tree line bordering the farm.
The inspector and his men entered the smoking scene, but could not find the remains of anyone.
Then they spotted a farmer ploughing a field not far away, as if nothing had happened.
They hurried over to the man's tractor.
"Sir," the inspector yelled, out of breath. "Did you see this terrible plane crash happen?"
"Yep, sure did." The farmer mumbled as he cut the tractor's engine.
"Do you realize that it was the Presidents 737?"
"Yep."
"Were there any survivors?"
"Nope. They all got killed straight out," the farmer answered. "Buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning."
"Zuma is dead?" The inspector asked.
"Well." the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor.
"He kept saying he wasn't. But you know what a lying bastard he is!”
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- ChrisF
- Top Web Wheeler
- Posts: 8188
- Joined: Thu Sep 17, 2009 2:56 pm
- Town: inniedorp
- Vehicle: Toy
- Real Name: Chris
Re: Joke of the day
Malema is in the library.
He takes a clean sheet of paper and goes to the photocopier.
The labrarian sees he is making copies of a clean sheet, and walks over to ask why he would be doing such a thing.
"Duh! .... Cant you see I am making more pages"
He takes a clean sheet of paper and goes to the photocopier.
The labrarian sees he is making copies of a clean sheet, and walks over to ask why he would be doing such a thing.
"Duh! .... Cant you see I am making more pages"
- ChrisF
- Top Web Wheeler
- Posts: 8188
- Joined: Thu Sep 17, 2009 2:56 pm
- Town: inniedorp
- Vehicle: Toy
- Real Name: Chris
Re: WTH ??
THIS has the airodynamics of a brick ...KOBUSL wrote:
- dalkill
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1576
- Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 8:34 am
- Town: Cape TOwn
- Vehicle: 2.4 GD6 SR D/C 4x4
- Real Name: Shaakir
Re: Joke of the day
my hart is sore ...
2016 2.4GD6 SR D/C 4x4 (Oct 2022 - current) (Buraaq VI)
2007 d4d 3.0 D/C 4x4 (Mar 2016 - July 2022) (Buraaq V)
2003 Isuzu KB300 D/C 4x4 (May 2015 - Feb 2016) aka Buraaq IV
2000 hilux DC 2.7 4x4 (Jul 2011 - Sep 2012) aka Buraaq III
1999 RXI 20v (Nov 2009 - Jul 2011) aka Quicksilver
1990 hilux DC 2.2 4x4 (Jun 2008 - Jul 2011) aka Buraaq II
1997 corolla 160i GLE (Feb 2007 - Sep 2009) aka Green Goblin
1990 GLI twincam (still my fav rolla) (Oct 2005 - Mar 2007) aka Wit Blitz
Golf GTI 2.0 (temp insanity for 2months) (Jun 2005 - Aug 2005) aka A mistake
1993 hilux SC 2.2 4x4 (April 2003 - Sept 2005) aka Buraaq
TOYOTA IS MY LEWE
2007 d4d 3.0 D/C 4x4 (Mar 2016 - July 2022) (Buraaq V)
2003 Isuzu KB300 D/C 4x4 (May 2015 - Feb 2016) aka Buraaq IV
2000 hilux DC 2.7 4x4 (Jul 2011 - Sep 2012) aka Buraaq III
1999 RXI 20v (Nov 2009 - Jul 2011) aka Quicksilver
1990 hilux DC 2.2 4x4 (Jun 2008 - Jul 2011) aka Buraaq II
1997 corolla 160i GLE (Feb 2007 - Sep 2009) aka Green Goblin
1990 GLI twincam (still my fav rolla) (Oct 2005 - Mar 2007) aka Wit Blitz
Golf GTI 2.0 (temp insanity for 2months) (Jun 2005 - Aug 2005) aka A mistake
1993 hilux SC 2.2 4x4 (April 2003 - Sept 2005) aka Buraaq
TOYOTA IS MY LEWE
- KOBUSL
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 2044
- Joined: Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:12 pm
- Town: WOLSELEY
- Vehicle: '96 HILUX 2.8 HILUX DC 3i BMW 540 RANCHERO UTE 4 Li
- Real Name: KOBUS
Re: Joke of the day
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 note.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar coin back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING.
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used that repairman since...this happened in Ipswich, Qld
IDIOT SIGHTING.
I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbour call the local council P & W office to request the removal of the WOMBAT CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many wombats are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
Story from Collingwood, Melbourne.
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.
My daughter went to a Mexican takeaway and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Bankstown, Sydney.....
IDIOT SIGHTING.
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
This happened in Elizabeth S.A.
IDIOT SIGHTING.
The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a government employee in ATO Newcastle NSW AU.
IDIOT SIGHTING.
When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar coin back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING.
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used that repairman since...this happened in Ipswich, Qld
IDIOT SIGHTING.
I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbour call the local council P & W office to request the removal of the WOMBAT CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many wombats are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
Story from Collingwood, Melbourne.
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.
My daughter went to a Mexican takeaway and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Bankstown, Sydney.....
IDIOT SIGHTING.
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
This happened in Elizabeth S.A.
IDIOT SIGHTING.
The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a government employee in ATO Newcastle NSW AU.
IDIOT SIGHTING.
When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
Word te vinnig oud en te stadig wys.
- Toppie4x4
- LR 4WD Full Lockers
- Posts: 836
- Joined: Sat Apr 06, 2013 3:38 pm
- Town: Centurion
- Vehicle: Hilux 4.0 V6 DC 4x4
- Real Name: Andre
Re: Joke of the day
Verbeel ek my of is dit twee bakstene vir spacers by die bladvere???
- Mud Dog
- Moderator
- Posts: 29859
- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Joke of the day
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
- Obelix and Dogmatix
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1837
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:27 pm
- Town: ROODEPOORT
- Vehicle: HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix, donated to some clown, HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix II Onca front and rear Amade extreme Suspension and under water breathing apparatus
- Real Name: Quentin
- Location: Allens Nek
Re: Joke of the day
PLEASE GUYS DO NOT POST THIS ON ANY SOCIAL MEDIA FORUM FOR YOUR SAKE AND MINE
Rules are there to make you think before you break them!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
- Obelix and Dogmatix
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1837
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:27 pm
- Town: ROODEPOORT
- Vehicle: HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix, donated to some clown, HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix II Onca front and rear Amade extreme Suspension and under water breathing apparatus
- Real Name: Quentin
- Location: Allens Nek
Re: Joke of the day
Rules are there to make you think before you break them!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
- Obelix and Dogmatix
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1837
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:27 pm
- Town: ROODEPOORT
- Vehicle: HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix, donated to some clown, HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix II Onca front and rear Amade extreme Suspension and under water breathing apparatus
- Real Name: Quentin
- Location: Allens Nek
Re: Joke of the day
Neil I coming to your house beginning August
Rules are there to make you think before you break them!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
- tuff tralies
- Low Range 4WD
- Posts: 146
- Joined: Mon Oct 14, 2013 10:51 am
- Town: Heidelberg
- Vehicle: hilux
- Real Name: christoffel
- Toppie4x4
- LR 4WD Full Lockers
- Posts: 836
- Joined: Sat Apr 06, 2013 3:38 pm
- Town: Centurion
- Vehicle: Hilux 4.0 V6 DC 4x4
- Real Name: Andre
Re: Joke of the day
Hi Quentin do you have a better quality picture.....................application for night out with the boys
- Obelix and Dogmatix
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1837
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:27 pm
- Town: ROODEPOORT
- Vehicle: HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix, donated to some clown, HILUX 4.0 V6 4x4 named Obelix II Onca front and rear Amade extreme Suspension and under water breathing apparatus
- Real Name: Quentin
- Location: Allens Nek
Re: Joke of the day
I don't really want to post a better picture as some guys other halfs might just start getting idea's and then I am in the *a* againToppie4x4 wrote:Hi Quentin do you have a better quality picture.....................application for night out with the boys
is the best i can do re quality
Rules are there to make you think before you break them!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
COMMON SENCE IS NOT A GIFT, IT IS A PUNISHMENT!! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE IT!!!
-
- Low Range 4WD
- Posts: 136
- Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2008 3:03 pm
- Town: Pretoria
- Vehicle: 93 Hilux
- Real Name: Z
- Club VHF Licence: HC 117
- Location: Moreletapark