Hilux 4x4 Forum

Location, location, location!! (That's a crap spot!)

That spider has got it ALL wrong.....

Its better to be peed off
THAN peed on....

So my son wanted me to pimp his black Vigo single cab for him with the following wish list:

Sipension lift
35" tires
Stainless steel Rock sliders
Stainless steel double pipe rear bumper (Legend 40 style)
Satin black finish
Rubber mat on the tail bin
Stainless steel freeflow exhaust system with no muffler

The trick is that I had to use whatever I had in my garage....

P.S My son is almost 4 years old.......pics to follow

Not my best work but hey, its a good start

Stainless steel freeflow exhaust system.

Rubber mat on the back with rear bumper

Ive been looking for a Hilux draadkar for my boy. Can only find nissan draadkarre.

Hendrik, from Potch to Carletonville (N12) there's a petrol station on left hand side (mainly used by 32 wheelers). They sell them there. Paid R250 and they had a few Hilux models

The REAL meaning of the Haynes instructions
Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise. You do know which way is anticlockwise, don't you?

Haynes: Should remove easily.
Translation: Will be corroded into place ... clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with a hammer.

Haynes: This is a snug fit.
Translation: You will skin your knuckles! ... Clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with hammer.


Haynes: This is a tight fit.
Translation: Not a hope in hell matey! ... Clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...
Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.

Haynes: Pry...
Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...

Haynes: Undo...
Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (industrial size).

Haynes: Ease ...
Translation: Apply superhuman strength to ...

Haynes: Retain tiny spring...
Translation: "Crikey what was that, it nearly had my eye out"!

Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...
Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part and remaining glass shards.

Haynes: Lightly...
Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then re-check the manual because what you are doing now cannot be considered "lightly".

Haynes: Weekly checks...
Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it!

Haynes: Routine maintenance...
Translation: If it isn't broken... it's about to be!

Haynes: One spanner rating (simple).
Translation: Your Mum could do this... so how did you manage to botch it up?

Haynes: Two spanner rating.
Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, tiny, ikkle number... but you also thought that the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you).

Haynes: Three spanner rating (intermediate).
Translation: Make sure you won't need your car for a couple of days and that your AA cover includes Home Start.

Haynes: Four spanner rating.
Translation: You are seriously considering this aren't you, you pleb!

Haynes: Five spanner rating (expert).
Translation: OK - but don't expect us to ride it afterwards!!!
Translation #2: Don't ever carry your loved ones in it again and don't mention it to your insurance company.


Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...
Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Haynes: Compress...
Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on, swear at, throw at the garage wall, then search for it in the dark corner of the garage whilst muttering "******" repeatedly under your breath.

Haynes: Inspect...
Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I thought, it's going to need a new one"!

Haynes: Carefully...
Translation: You are about to cut yourself!

Haynes: Retaining nut...
Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.

Haynes: Get an assistant...
Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.

Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.
Translation: But you swear in different places.

Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...
Translation: Snap off...

Haynes: Using a suitable drift or pin-punch...
Translation: The biggest nail in your tool box isn't a suitable drift!

Haynes: Everyday toolkit
Translation: Ensure you have an RAC Card & Mobile Phone

Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Placing your mouth near it and huffing isn't moderate heat.
Translation #2: Heat up until glowing red, if it still doesn't come undone use a hacksaw.

Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Unless you have a blast furnace, don't bother. Clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: Index
Translation: List of all the things in the book bar the thing you want to do!

Haynes: Remove oil filter using an oil filter chain spanner or length of bicycle chain.
Translation: Stick a screwdriver through it and beat handle repeatedly with a hammer.

Haynes: Replace old gasket with a new one.
Translation: I know I've got a tube of Krazy Glue around here somewhere.

Haynes: Grease well before refitting.
Translation: Spend an hour searching for your tub of grease before chancing upon a bottle of washing-up liquid. Wipe some congealed washing up liquid from the dispenser nozzle and use that since it's got a similar texture and will probably get you to Halfords to buy some Castrol grease.

Haynes: See illustration for details
Translation: None of the illustrations notes will match the pictured exploded, numbered parts. The unit illustrated is from a previous or variant model.


HAYNES GUIDE TO TOOLS OF THE TRADE
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer is nowadays used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

MOLE-GRIPS/ADJUSTABLE spanner: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETELENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside a brake-drum you're trying to get the bearing race out of.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for for the last 15 minutes.

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls in about the time it takes you to say, "F...."

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering car to the ground after you have installed your new front disk brake setup, trapping the jack handle firmly under the front wing.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering a car upward off a hydraulic jack.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.

PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbour to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.

SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.

BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.

TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup.

TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile strength of ground straps and brake lines you may have forgotten to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end without the handle.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

INSPECTION LIGHT: The mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate as 105-mm howitzer shells during the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper- and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a fossil-fuel burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a pneumatic impact spanner that grips rusty bolts last tightened 30 years ago by someone in Dagenham, and rounds them off.

PRY (CROW) BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 pence part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.






Engineering Terms
* A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED
We are still pissing in the wind.


* EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM
We just hired three kids fresh out of college.


* CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION
We know who to blame.


* MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH
It works OK, but looks very hitech.


* CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED
We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.


* PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE
The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch


* TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING
We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.


* THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED
The only person who understood the thing quit.


* ALL NEW
Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.


* RUGGED
Too damn heavy to lift!


* LIGHTWEIGHT
Lighter than RUGGED.


* YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT
One finally worked.


* LOW MAINTENANCE
Impossible to fix if broken

Some good ones in there that might trigger a few memories!

Too true

Thanks for sharing!

Mud Dog wrote:

Some good ones in there that might trigger a few memories!

A few would be good We all learn the hard way, some harder than others

Good one .

Sounds like LR mechanics

I know the son, Thomas Dreyer, of the oom near Bothaville who makes this as well as a lot of other draadkar-models. If you want, I can try and get a phone-nr of his factory. They will definately also be at Nampo next week, at their usual spot in the Nampo-hall.

Ja nee dit laat my trug dink aan my kinder tyd ek het daai draad kar op gespeel.Wie almal het met een ook gespeel?

Ek het, Gavin. Meesal lorries, trekkers en bakkies gemaak saam die swart laaities op die plaas naby Tzaneen waar ek groot geword het. Ook nog kleiosse van sulke wit, geel, en choklitbruin klei by die spruit. Lekker ou dae, ai.

DIT IS SKREEU SNAAKS---- GENIET DIT


Die meisie slaag matriek goed en haar bejaarde ouers van die plaas, skraap hulle laaste geld bymekaar
om hulle begaafde dogter verder te laat studeer in wetenskappe aan die beste universiteit in Amerika.

Drie jaar gaan verby toe sy weer eendag bel, met die nuus dat sy haar eerste graad geslaag het,
en dat sy vir hulle die produk wat sy uitgevind het, gaan stuur uit dankbaarheid dat hulle hul laaste ou geldjies
gegee het om haar te laat leer.

As hulle elke week elkeen 'n teelepel van die goed drink....... is hulle gewaarborg dat hulle gou-gou jonger sal wees,
en met elke drinkslag daarna....... steeds jonger sal word .

So gemaak so gedaan...... en 'n paar maande gaan verby en die dogter besluit om die vakansie huis toe te gaan
aangesien sy baie verlang.

Op die plaas aangekom, skrik sy amper om te sien hoe jonk en mooi haar ma geword het , daar waar sy die stoep vee.
Haar ma was skaars dertig,.......... pragtig gebou,.......... en... soos die outyd.....met die oulikste kleintjie op haar rug vasgebind ....... so jonk is sy..........

"Hallo Ma !!"....... skree sy ,.... maar Ma het jonk geword !... Waar is Pa ?

" Ja dis 'n anner storie daai" sê haar ma ............ "Die derde aand wat ons daai goed van jou drink !........
raak jou Pa toe so suurgat dat ek baie gouer as hy jonger geword het..... dat hy daai bottel gryp en hom heeltemal uitsuip !"
" Lieweland Ma ........ waar is Pa dan nou ?

Ma : " Hier sit die swerkater op my rug !!!"

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help..

The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles, and he will stop snoring.

'Yeah right!' she says.

A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles.

Sure enough, the dog stops snoring. The woman is amazed...

Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and immediately begins snoring loudly.

The woman decides maybe the ribbon might work on him. So, she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties it around her husband's testicles.
Amazingly, it also works on him!

The woman sleeps soundly. The husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates.

He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles. He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers,

'I don't know where we were ... or what we did ....

But, we took FIRST and SECOND place!

Ek soek van daai wonder pil .Dis n gooie een

Love the sign

You have to love simple home remedies that work hey

hehehe

Hehehehe!!!

View Original
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kprYsBfbbt0" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Iets om te deel

Yeah right!!!

Only in Africa

luckily they will sweep and mop the floors everynight for the Oil spillages...... :roll:

Ask Geremy Clarkson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJvE7B7DD74" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Maybe we must have an anual Mudfest????

Definitely the best 4x4xfar. No doubt abt that.

luckily they will sweep and mop the floors everynight for the Oil spillages......

Stubs ..... who do you get a "draad kar" to leak oil ....... put a Land Rover badge on it.

liers, I'm sure I saw a small scratch on the left front fender...

Dit lyk na lekke sports. En die lywe...

En die!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qg5pes3aZVI" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Klong se Pa wrote: En die lywe...

Nou dit, lyk na GROOT moeilikheid!!!!

The only thing getting stuck there would be the 4x4 drivers and not the trucks.

That looks like good fun.

In the spirit of Mothers day this coming Sunday, let's reflect on all that our Mom's taught us:





1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times...don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

O those are so true!

Sent from my washing machine using the fridge