The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please wake me at 5:00 AM. He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
Never mess with a woman
Forum rules
Please keep it light hearted enol. No serious stufs hey! :)
We are trying to make the technical information more visible in the Active Topics section. So we are trying to combine all the humour posts into a single thread. This will then more or less always stay on the active topics page if you keep appending your jokes onto this single thread. Your assistance will be greatly appreciated
Please keep it light hearted enol. No serious stufs hey! :)
We are trying to make the technical information more visible in the Active Topics section. So we are trying to combine all the humour posts into a single thread. This will then more or less always stay on the active topics page if you keep appending your jokes onto this single thread. Your assistance will be greatly appreciated
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GI Jane
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- Real Name: Val
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Re: Never mess with a woman
Here's another one for good measure..
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cook ing around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . 'HEBREWS'
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cook ing around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . 'HEBREWS'
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GI Jane
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 4019
- Joined: Mon May 16, 2011 4:07 pm
- Town: Strand WC
- Vehicle: Toyota Hilux 4x4, 2.41t Raider 1998 DC - front & rear difflock, 140lt fuel tank, 31" BFG a/t, snorkel, drawer system, alucab canopy, driver with attitude.
- Real Name: Val
- Club VHF Licence: X112
Re: Never mess with a woman
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause "it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause "it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.
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ROOFER
- LR4WD, Lockers, Crawler Gears
- Posts: 1007
- Joined: Sun May 23, 2010 10:03 pm
- Town: grassy park cape town
- Vehicle: 99 s/c hilux 4x4 2.7i long range tank & dual battery; 2003 nissan x-TRAIL (4X4)
- Real Name: charl
Re: Never mess with a woman
Eish 
:lmao
:lmao
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Hoppy
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 5784
- Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:15 pm
- Town: Cape Town
- Vehicle: Hilux SFA & IFS
- Real Name: Allan 0721291160
Re: Never mess with a woman
Good one aunti!
aev@iburst.co.za
The trouble with trouble is...it always starts as fun.
The most precious jewels you will ever wear around your neck is the arms of your children...
" I WOULD RATHER SIT ON THE TAILGATE OF MY HILUX WITH A BEER AND A CHOP, WATCHING A FIRE, THAN DINE IN THE BEST RESTAURANT IN TOWN "
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Bugzy
- LR 4WD Full Lockers
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- Real Name: Buks
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- Location: Zuurplaat
- Contact:
Re: Never mess with a woman
Great Val-
jacques kotze
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 3616
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- Vehicle: 2,8 4x4 Auto Fortuner. 2,8 4x4 Hilux singlecab.
- Real Name: Jacques
- Contact:
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Buffel 1
- High Range 4WD
- Posts: 89
- Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:22 am
- Town: Kempton park
- Vehicle: Hilux 3.0D4D Legend auto
- Real Name: Johan
Re: Never mess with a woman
Ek het ok die koffie maak argument verloor....en die pap maak een
gelukkig ek staan 5 uur op en sy 6 uur so die koffie is nou n ice coffee teen die tyd dat sy wakker word -
MOFASA
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 3095
- Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 7:27 pm
- Town: Kempton Park
- Vehicle: 1998 JEEP XJ 4.0............ 4 inch lift.... more mods to follow............ Old vehicle was MOFASA
- Real Name: Johno
- Club VHF Licence: X119
- Location: Kempton Park
Re: Never mess with a woman
Se men can play that game too....
Live Life in the FAST lane....
Forget the past, Embrace the FUTURE!!!!
To 4x4 or not to 4x4 thats the question....
IT'S A JEEP
..... You wouldn't understand....
[rimg=206x128]
Forget the past, Embrace the FUTURE!!!!
To 4x4 or not to 4x4 thats the question....
IT'S A JEEP
..... You wouldn't understand.... [rimg=206x128]-
ChrisF
- Top Web Wheeler
- Posts: 8188
- Joined: Thu Sep 17, 2009 2:56 pm
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- Vehicle: Toy
- Real Name: Chris
Re: Never mess with a woman
probleem is julle weet dit net te goed .....GI Jane wrote:Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
na 21 jaar het ek al geleer .....
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Mud Dog
- Moderator
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- Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 am
- Town: East London
- Vehicle: '90 SFA Hilux DC 4X4, Full OME, 110mm lift. Brospeed branch, 50mm ss freeflow exhaust. 30 x 9.5 Discoverer S/T's on Viper mags. L/R tank. (AWOL) '98 LTD 2.4 SFA, dual battery system. Dobinson suspension, LR tanks, 31" BF mud's.
- Real Name: Andy
- Club VHF Licence: HC103
Re: Never mess with a woman
Na 31 jaar het ek al vergeet!ChrisF wrote:probleem is julle weet dit net te goed .....GI Jane wrote:Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
na 21 jaar het ek al geleer .....
When your road comes to an end ...... you need a HILUX!.
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers ... what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Don't take life too seriously ..... no-one gets out alive.
It's not about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
And be yourself ..... everyone else is taken!
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Buffel 1
- High Range 4WD
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Re: Never mess with a woman
Andy
Okk gedink ek weet na 21 jaar ...toe verander die reels dogter word 18
ek sien nou uit na 31 want dan is sy hopelik n anner se probleem (oor my dooie ligaam) 
Okk gedink ek weet na 21 jaar ...toe verander die reels dogter word 18
ek sien nou uit na 31 want dan is sy hopelik n anner se probleem
(oor my dooie ligaam) -
ChrisF
- Top Web Wheeler
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Re: Never mess with a woman
Johan so ek neem aan jy het al aansoek gedoen vir n lisensie vir n pomp aksie haelgeweer ??
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KOBUSL
- Monster Truck
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- Vehicle: '96 HILUX 2.8 HILUX DC 3i BMW 540 RANCHERO UTE 4 Li
- Real Name: KOBUS
Re: Never mess with a woman
ChrisF wrote:Johan so ek neem aan jy het al aansoek gedoen vir n lisensie vir n pomp aksie haelgeweer ??
Ek neem aan die kind is ordentlik ( soos sy pa en ma ) grootgemaak. En sy het haar ma se smaak ( het mos vir pa gekies ) Nou hoekom sou pa dan kommer ? Of is dit dalk hoekom pa kommer ?Buffel 1 wrote:Andy
Okk gedink ek weet na 21 jaar ...toe verander die reels dogter word 18
ek sien nou uit na 31 want dan is sy hopelik n anner se probleem
Broers, gee oor. Gaan met die vloei. Val is reg, moenie torring nie . Dit bewaar die vrede. Al is sy verkeerd.
Word te vinnig oud en te stadig wys.
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GI Jane
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 4019
- Joined: Mon May 16, 2011 4:07 pm
- Town: Strand WC
- Vehicle: Toyota Hilux 4x4, 2.41t Raider 1998 DC - front & rear difflock, 140lt fuel tank, 31" BFG a/t, snorkel, drawer system, alucab canopy, driver with attitude.
- Real Name: Val
- Club VHF Licence: X112
Re: Never mess with a woman
I know you guys always allow us to think we are right to keep the peace... Most of us get it..KOBUSL wrote:ChrisF wrote:Johan so ek neem aan jy het al aansoek gedoen vir n lisensie vir n pomp aksie haelgeweer ??Ek neem aan die kind is ordentlik ( soos sy pa en ma ) grootgemaak. En sy het haar ma se smaak ( het mos vir pa gekies ) Nou hoekom sou pa dan kommer ? Of is dit dalk hoekom pa kommer ?Buffel 1 wrote:Andy
Okk gedink ek weet na 21 jaar ...toe verander die reels dogter word 18
ek sien nou uit na 31 want dan is sy hopelik n anner se probleem
Broers, gee oor. Gaan met die vloei. Val is reg, moenie torring nie . Dit bewaar die vrede. Al is sy verkeerd.
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ChrisF
- Top Web Wheeler
- Posts: 8188
- Joined: Thu Sep 17, 2009 2:56 pm
- Town: inniedorp
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- Real Name: Chris
Re: Never mess with a woman
Die man IS die hoof van die huis.
die NEK draai die hoof net waar SY wil ......
die NEK draai die hoof net waar SY wil ......
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KOBUSL
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 2044
- Joined: Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:12 pm
- Town: WOLSELEY
- Vehicle: '96 HILUX 2.8 HILUX DC 3i BMW 540 RANCHERO UTE 4 Li
- Real Name: KOBUS
Re: Never mess with a woman
...... en ek het my vrou se toestemming om so te se....................
Word te vinnig oud en te stadig wys.