Beware of the Boers!
Barack Obama was sitting in his office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang.
"Howzit, Barack!" a voice in broken English said. "This is Koos Vannermerwe here from the Doringboom Bar in Thabazimbi , South Africa . I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you, boet!"
"Well, Koos," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Koos, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Jan, my next-door neighbor Lang Hannes, and the entire staff from the bar. That makes eight of us!"
Barack paused. "I must tell you, Koos, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Sjoe!" said Koos. "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough, the next day, Koos called again. "Barack, my maat, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Koos?" Barack asked.
"Well, we have four Hilux double-cabs, two kombis, an old Case bulldozer, and Vet Gert's John Deere tractor".
Barack sighed. "I must tell you, Koos, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1,5 million since we last spoke."
"Liewe erdvark!" said Koos. "I'll have to get back to you..." Sure enough, Koos rang again the next day. "Barack, ou swaer, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Doepie's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four okes from the Messina Hengelklub have joined us as well!"
Barack was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Koos, I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Slaat my dood!", said Koos, "I'll have to ring you back." Sure enough, Koos called again the next day. "Ja, ja, Barack! I am sorry to tell you that we've had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Koos, "we've all had a long chat over some klippies and coke, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners of war!"
The Boere are comings - OLD CLASSIC EMAIL JOKE
Forum rules
Please keep it light hearted enol. No serious stufs hey! :)
We are trying to make the technical information more visible in the Active Topics section. So we are trying to combine all the humour posts into a single thread. This will then more or less always stay on the active topics page if you keep appending your jokes onto this single thread. Your assistance will be greatly appreciated
Please keep it light hearted enol. No serious stufs hey! :)
We are trying to make the technical information more visible in the Active Topics section. So we are trying to combine all the humour posts into a single thread. This will then more or less always stay on the active topics page if you keep appending your jokes onto this single thread. Your assistance will be greatly appreciated
- Rooies
- LR 4WD Rear Locker
- Posts: 378
- Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2010 12:05 pm
- Town: Strand
- Vehicle: 1994 2.4i (22RE) D/C Raider 4X4
- Real Name: Rudi
Re: The Boere are comings - OLD CLASSIC EMAIL JOKE
ROOIES: 1994 2.4i (22RE) Raider D/C - 200 000kms - Brospeed Branch & Powerflow Exhaust
MIKEM Suspension & Gabriel Safari Shocks - "31 BF Goodrich AT - GOMAD Aluminium Canopy
Melvill & Moon Seat Covers - Safari Snorkel - Bushwakka Weekender Offroad Trailer
MIKEM Suspension & Gabriel Safari Shocks - "31 BF Goodrich AT - GOMAD Aluminium Canopy
Melvill & Moon Seat Covers - Safari Snorkel - Bushwakka Weekender Offroad Trailer
- Paul Grobler
- LR 4WD Full Lockers
- Posts: 564
- Joined: Mon Nov 02, 2009 6:09 pm
- Town: KOEDOESKOP
- Vehicle: '12 79 Land Cruiser Pick up 4.2 D
- Real Name: Paul
- swartvark
- Monster Truck
- Posts: 2051
- Joined: Mon Jan 11, 2010 2:03 pm
- Town: Gordons Bay
- Vehicle: SFA HiLEX V8; Suzuki GSF1200s Bandit
- Real Name: Tiaan
- Location: Western Cape
Re: The Boere are comings - OLD CLASSIC EMAIL JOKE
MUD........GLORIOUS MUD!!!!!
Your friendly VW salesperson......(with a passion for SFA Hiluxes)
NEED A CAR?
talk2tiaan@gmail.com
0829294028